I can trace it's prominence back to the beginning of motherhood, all the advice from those (who actually did not have kids) on how to solve my problems and prevent permanently sabotaging my child's psyche (I have played the future counseling sessions out in my mind tracing it all back to me, then their wives subsequently uttering curses to my name. Yup. That's pretty much how it goes). Then I started homeschooling. Let me tell you it is no fun going to meetings where every other mother has angelic children and yours are touching EVERYTHING!
"You are not good enough" (add ominous echo, because sometimes your head likes to be creative even when tearing you down).
Now this is not unique to women, as clearly noted above, men have issues also (most tracing back to their mothers).
Afterwards one of the women I had viewed the movie with confessed to me how much the main characters' situation resonated with her (phew, I am not alone). Why do we fall victim to the false expectations of others? Who are we trying to be good enough for? (likely it's your mothers' fault but for laughs let's move on)
Seriously though, we are CONSTANTLY stacking ourselves against others. This is something you need to change. Just this week I had two clients working in a small group. Both are around the same age. Client A is known as a tough, hardcore exerciser and she truly lives up to that reputation. Client B is shy when it comes to strength but in a matter of a couple months is performing moves with the kettlebell she never dreamed possible. So here they are, both sweating their butts off at a challenging workout when client B says to client A, "It makes me feel better to see you having a tough time with this".
WHAT???? (this is where my bubble pops)
You see the entire time client B was beating herself down I was beaming with pride over how someone, who just two months ago had low conditioning, was making it through a cardio intense routine beautifully!
If your goal is to do a pull up but Sexy Sally is busting them out like crazy, then get to that bar and work your way to doing that pull up! When you have achieved your goal, stand back. Smile. Throw a party, then get working on the next goal. And remember, no one is perfect. While you are busy being jealous of Sexy Sally she is beating herself down for something else. We all have our flaws.
So let's practice. Now turn towards the mirror and repeat Stuart Smally:" Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it people like me!"
Kerry M. Davis LMT, CIMT, SFG